I'mNotOverYou
by Die
Summary: Usagi tries one last time to get through to Mamoru, but his mind is definately somewhere else, with someone else. Hints of shonen and shoujo ai.


-looks up-  
  
-panicks- What are you doing here!?! -hides contents on desk- Hmm. You know what? Not enough yaoi in Sailor Moon. There are so many female charcacters that there's practically no damn room for the good stuff.  
-laughs-  
  
Characters not mine. AU just to be safe. Implied shonen-ai and shoujo-ai. And.. um...weirdness.  
  
Song fic. Lyrics-- #...#   
I *think* the main character is Mamoru, but Usagi is there too... o.O;  
-ducks-  
  
  
.oO*@*Oo.I'm Not Over You.oO*@*Oo.  
  
Usagi and her friends had their day planned. Go out for a beautiful drive and see some country side... maybe stop at a thrift store and laugh while buying cheap, tacky clothes. Go to a movie and complain about being scared of the dark as they throw popcorn at rude old couples who *always* seem to have big poofy hair. Then of course, visit their friend.  
  
Their *special* friend. Mamoru Chiba.   
  
Cell number 803. (get it?)  
  
Current resident of Blockade Mental Facility on Pomagranate Hill. Nice place too. Real quiet and out of town, away from any sane people who'd only mock those different from them anyways. Patients have it good here and rarely try to escape. It's not as if they'd have somewhere to go afterall...  
  
*****************************************************************  
Usagi parked the car near the front office and sighed. It was getting harder and harder every time to do this. It's not as if she hated it, but her emotional state was wearing thin and having to see him like this was just... well devestating.Grabbing her keys, photo id tag, and a small paper bag, she opened the door to get out, but felt a tug on her hand.  
  
"Usagi-chan." Rei stated. "We'll be right here when you're done. Okay?" Wide violet eyes looked up at her worried with concern. Gaze unnoticed.  
  
Without turning around Usagi nodded her head, squeezed Rei's hand and shut the door.  
  
"Do you think she'll be able to do this much longer?" Minako asked in a small voice from the back seat. Worried for her best friends' emotional conflicts.  
  
"I seriously doubt it." Makoto spoke, while fiddling with some linking rings she found for 50 cents. Ami watched tiredly, trying so very hard not to grab the rings and smack someone with them. She smiled. The heat was getting to her it seemed.  
Rei stared out the window, contemplating on what to say when Usagi got back. How to tell her... make her understand that she wasn't picking sides. That she really did care.  
  
"More than you know Usagi-chan..."   
  
*******************************************************************  
#I feel great.#  
  
Mamoru looked at the nurse as she wrote down his lunch count for the day. She was short and lumpy and wearing white and squinting through her glasses and... using a red pen. Mamoru glared through the little plexi-glass window at her, wishing he could snatch it away and care for it like he would any other pen. Especially red.  
  
'Just like his flowers.' He thought while smiling suddenly. 'He always brought me flowers.'  
  
The nurse stopped jotting down scribbles and glanced up to smile. Then briskly strolled away to check on her next patient. It took a moment for the mood to settle in around Mamoru before he kicked the door and turned to slump down in a corner of the little cell/room. Waiting for that weird girl who always looked at him funny. He didn't really like her. Not at all. Always bringing him chocolate. Always watching his reaction to things. He wished that she'd just leave him alone. Or maybe... maybe bring a flower sometime. Yeah, that'd be cool.... a red rose. Yep, he'd definately like that. Just as he started to whistle, the door was being unlocked.  
  
********************************************************************  
*I lied to save your feelings.*  
  
"Well Mr. Chiba. Your visitor has made yet another appearance."  
  
The orderly calmly suggested that Mamoru come with him to the area allowed for talking. A room with panels that had a separating safety screen. Little slots at eye level when you were sitting, so that you could hold a conversation without having to yell. Pushing Mamoru along, the orderly pointed to a little cubicle.  
"Sit tight. I'll go open the com unit."  
Mamoru nodded and sat back to wait. Knowing what he'd see on the other side. Already feeling bored.  
  
********************************************************************  
#Truth convened, my head smashed through the ceiling.  
I lost an arm, no one harmed, you diplomatically alarmed.#  
  
Mamoru stared avidly while she took a seat in the chair, placing her bag on the table and adjusting to a more comfortable position. Enough to look straight at him when she decided to talk. Just like every other day.   
  
Her eyes are blank and dull though.' She's different today'. A thought tells him. Usagi seems to stare right through him... and he fidgets, avoiding eye contact and wishing to run away and hide.  
  
Suddenly she smiles. "Mamo-chan."  
  
He rolls his eyes and tips his chair back to stare at the ceiling, drumming his fingers on the table. 'Guess not.' He thinks, while counting the white tiles one by one.  
  
Usagi's face withers and she's tries her hardest to blink back tears. She knew this would happen; told herself at least a thousand times that it wouldn't be different today. But no... oh no, she didn't want to give him up. Not when they had been such a happy couple. Graduating and becoming married after being college sweethearts for so very long. A perfect pair. They had planned for the future and wanted to have a pretty house in a quiet neighborhood with children...  
But that never happened.  
  
*******************************************************************  
#I sulked away to lick my thin skin.#  
  
Usagi pinched the temple of her nose in exhaustion. They had been arguing since forever it seemed and she still got the same answers. 'Just a friend. Just a close friend. We grew up together. I *do* love you. Do I make you give up *your* friends?'  
To that one she had made a reply. 'Do any of *my* friends call me thier Lover?!' That of which had shut him up due to the redness on his cheeks, and with that Usagi had started the whole thing all over again.  
Silent minutes passed. Neither willing to make eye contact.  
Finally exhausted to irritation, Mamoru threw up his hands and mumbled obscenities while grabbing his coat and walking quickly towards the door. She had clenched her eyes and finally found her voice to stop him. 'Matte, Mamo-chan.'  
He sighed angrily and waited, fingers clenching the door knob.  
'Just...' She didn't want to know the answer to the question she was about to ask. But her conscience said otherwise.  
'Nani!' He snapped.  
  
'Just tell me the truth. I want to know. Onegai, just tell me. I deserve that much at least.'  
  
He relaxed somewhat with her calm tone. She did have a point... a right to know. Just... not right now. And shaking his head he left, gently closing the door in his wake. With the soft -click- Usagi's tears gave way into silent desperation and she broke down. Hard.  
  
*****************************************************************  
Usagi sat up straighter and gently coughed, trying to get his attention. He still sat there. For all she knew he could be asleep. Or as usual just ignoring her. And it hurt more each and every time.  
'I'm pathetic.' She thought weakly. 'Tired.'  
Shaking her head she sat up to leave. 'For the last time.' She pushed in her chair and left the bag on the mini-counter, giving one last glance at her love before sulking out the door.   
The orderly watched her go, shaking his head and silently marking a date on his calendar to later count the money pooled to see how long it'd take her to give up.   
  
'Damnit.' He thought, faintly pissed off. 'James won again.'  
*********************************************************************  
#I'm not over you.#  
  
A figure twitched in their sleep, a faint smile in place. Clutching a pillow suggestively.  
'Don't worry Fiore... I kept my promise.'  
  
******************************************************************  
#I'm not over you.#  
  
She stared at the rain sleeting down outside of her window. Having stopped stirring the now cold coffee long ago. A waitress came along to pick it up yet again and paused to offer a shoulder to cry on. Usagi heard not a word, continuing to sit and blankly contemplate. Later breaking down to Rei on the phone how she felt and how she found the justified need to commit suicide. Never catching the loving and needfull voice on the other end.  
  
******************************************************************  
#I'm not over you.#  
  
She set the phone down and quietly stood to take a shower, wrapping her long, dark hair in a ribbon to keep it a little dry. Sorrow etching her features from having to listen to her -heart- break over the phone.   
'Usagi-chan... I'm so sorry. But why won't you at least let me hold you?'  
Tears intermingled in the water.  
  
***********************************************************************  
Believe it or not, this isn't my usual writing style. Whatever that is. It was way outta my league and I look back on it and shake my head in wonder. And pity. -snicker-   
When I started writing this I had NO idea where it was going. I didn't expect to understand it myself, so if you feel like sputtering out a flame go on ahead. -laughs-  
Just don't get a head ache over it.   



End file.
